Nag and Rag-ercise

I walked out of my exercise/dance class today. I had not attended in a long time- many, many family events took precedence. I COULD have made it, but it would have just added to my stress, not relieved it. In any case, I arrived on time and participated adequately. I was sweating and panting, if that gives you an idea. And after all, it's MY exercise class. I am very motivated by music, and this center is convenient. I am lucky that I have this particular program so close to home, and I have been a 2-4 times a week participant for about 18 months.

I am not in great shape. I am too heavy, and my feet hurt. I always do the low-impact modifications, and today, I was also limiting my aerobic efforts. But I was sweating, and I was panting.

In typical fashion, the instructor (who is also the owner, and also pretty much the only instructor at this center any more) runs pretty hot and cold at best. Sometimes she greets me by name, cheerfully. Sometimes she barely makes eye contact. Today, she said coldly, "Hello, you." Unfortunately, I already expected her to be exasperated. She's pretty intolerant of people who have any sort of explanation or excuse. She takes it personally if people have spotty attendance. I was already a little fragile, having spent the day in a training for parenting support group facilitators. I was, frankly, primed for her to be a little prickly.

In the fifth or sixth song, she exhorted me to greater effort by adding, "especially those of you who haven't been coming..." to one of her more general harangues about putting some muscle into it. Projecting? Maybe. But directed at me or not, it's not super encouraging, you know. Not super supportive.

Then she did this weird, flabby-armed waddle, looking right at me, and said, "Come ON. Not like THIS." And folks, I just walked out. Again, did I NEED to personalize this? No. I go for my health, and I could have continued to push myself to the edge of today's potential. But enough! I had had enough. It's just not a positive place to go.

Now I'm debating how to be mature about it: do I call and explain WHY I left? I've left early before, to pick up my daughter from daycare. But I always call out a thank-you and a good-bye. This time, I just grabbed my bag and my water, and whipped out of there, shaking my head. I'm not sure I even want to go back, so my efforts at explanation would not necessarily be for my own sake. I don't think I would hesitate to go back WITHOUT an explanation. As I said, she runs pretty hot and cold, and who knows if she even noticed or would remember.

The thing is, can you really change this kind of person? Is this effort worth it? Would it make a difference to her future success and happiness? Would it make a difference to the other participants? (Maybe the drill sergeant model REALLY WORKS for the others.) Do I care? Or would I just be telling her to VENT? (Like I seem to be doing here.)