Bona Fide Fake

Authenticity.
Out of all the personality profiles (ENFP! or ESFP...? Gemini!... Strong interpersonal, linguistic and musical intelligences! Gamine! or Classic...? Winter!... Who knows what-all..., give me an inane magazine quiz, or a book length opportunity for self-analysis, and I'm yours), I don't seem to have found this quality described.
In a breath-taking moment of insight (I was sweeping the basement at the time,) it occurred to me that I have this sort of elitist attitude about starting from scratch, truly innovating.
It dawned on me that I shop- and BUY- weekly at crafts stores because I want to be an artist, but I refuse to buy a kit of any kind because that would make me a poseur. So I buy a bunch of stuff hoping that this, finally, will be my medium.
I resist cooking because I'm not detail-oriented, but I feel very sheepish and apologetic about mixes and frozen foods because that makes me lame.
OK, my whole life, I have thought that anything that smacks of nautical has no business here in Colorado. Piers, ropes, pelicans, light-houses- any kind of art or decor that has these motifs is ridiculous. We're in the land-locked, mountain west. Embracing that marine aesthetic is ridiculous. That includes, by the way, undersea shower curtains. (I think that TROUT is a more reasonable dish to offer here, although I understand seafood restaurants and make allowances for them.)
I never really liked art portraits, because I don't know those people. Not authentic.
There are, I'm sure, many other examples, and areas in which I hypocritically contradict this. (For example, the phone number for the Schwan's man is programmed into my cell phone.) (Oops, and for another example, the only art hanging in my living is two POSTERS of PORTRAITS. My own works are framed, but sheepishly obscured in the basement behind stacks of, yes, more art supplies.)
And then, there is abundant arm-chair psychology to be mined. Am I so worked up about authenticity because at a deeper level, I feel like a fraud? (yes)
My sister, who is surely one of the most articulate and linguistically creative persons in this hemisphere (once going into great detail about Dan-o, in Hawaii 5-0, staggering backwards ILL-CHOREOGRAPHEDLY upon the death of a long-lost love), described someone as a bona fide fake. As opposed to a fake fake, I guess.
Am I bona fide? I'll have to consider that subtlety with regards to myself in a later post.