I asked; I think I understand now

• I went to HELP.
• That's "help" with a P, but very funny, wise guy.
• I said, "Why don't I see all the text formatting buttons?"
• They said, "Because you're not initiated into the secret brotherhood of bloggers.  Too bad for you."
• So I went ahead and submitted a close-up shot of my iris, and I pressed my thumbprints onto the monitor screen.
• I've been approved for use of LIVE BULLETS.