And how are YOU?

People keep asking me how I'm coping with Andy's absence, and I feel guilty when I have to admit I'm fine. I'm not wistfully standing alone in his room, or hugging his pillow or anything.

I did realize yesterday, though, that I'm wound up pretty tight. Little things are stressing me out, and I slept most of the day both Wednesday and Friday. Peter and Rose asked me to go for an evening walk/bike ride, and I reluctantly agreed, knowing that it would make me feel better, AND IT DIDN'T. I eyed everyone suspiciously, and Rose's training wheels did nothing to calm my frantic fears of falls, scrapes and cross-walks.

On Thursday, I had a ladies' tea at 1:00, and hosted the book club at 6:00. I DID NOTHING TO PREPARE FOR EITHER until about 10:00 that morning. I didn't even know what I would serve, much less purchase the ingredients. At 12:30, I had groceries in the car, hadn't changed into ladies' tea clothes, and hadn't even washed my face. It's a miracle I was only 7 minutes late to the tea party.

The point is, I'm spending a lot of time reading cheesy novels, or sleeping. I realized this morning that Rose's first reading intervention class was LAST Sunday; needless to say, she wasn't there. Considering there are only 5 sessions of this class, this makes me feel really lame.

So, I guess maybe I'm not SO fine.

(Incidentally, the tea party was great fun. The assistance league sponsors it every year in their historic mansion. There's a tablescapes contest, several little boutiques throughout, and really lovely little dainties to eat. Kim, Liz and I were delighted to realize that we were by far the youngest people in the building, and certainly the only ones who were talking about boobies on shopping lists, and heat-sensitive color-changing lipstick. We were snorting in the most UN-ladylike way, and STARVING. Apparently asking for seconds is just NOT DONE, as we realized as soon as we did it. Fortunately, a shaky-handed volunteer dumped tea all over my glass plate, which had been practically licked clean, and with a twinkle in her eye, offered to replace my serving. We shared the new portion like refugees.)

(Furthermore, the book club was very comfortable, as always. We had Greek food, my favorite. Sausage and peppers, baked feta in tomatoes, olives, bread, figs and green beans with rosemary and pinon nuts. I bought retsina, although I knew no one would want any. Then coffee, and chocolate cake filled with raspberry mousse. Although I had set the table with watery blues and greens, a twig table runner and some willow branches, Peter and Rose contributed about 20 Buddhas from their collection, and the whole thing turned into an ASIAN theme, with Greek food.

I had insisted we read Schuyler's Monster. As I told my friends, I knew it was a didactic choice, particularly since it's only available in hardback right now, but I didn't care. And what do you know, my LOVELY friends read it at first for my sake, to understand our journey with Rose, and ended up reflecting in very philosophical ways, all evening, about the meaning of our time in this life. I love my book friends.)

So. How are YOU?