Honorary Doctorate

Actually, I think parents should receive REAL doctorates. Here's some of the learning from the steep curve:

• "Giftedness" is sometimes a curse.
• There is such a thing as Dandy Walker Syndrome.
• It is also sometimes a curse.
  
• White socks are just silly.
• Or, as my sister puts it, "Hope is a cruel impostor."
• There's something to that "Mama Bear" stuff that people talk about.
• There's no point in judging children's behavior.
  
• However, there is often a lot of satisfaction in judging their parents.
• Which is my hobby.
• Don't buy woven cotton shirts or dresses.
• Only knits.
• Unless you LIKE (???) ironing microscopic pleats and ruffles.
• Daddies will definitely treat girls differently than boys.
• And thank god for that.
• Yes, you WILL have to go to the Emergency Room.
• Maybe even in an ambulance.
  
• Yes, you CAN stay in the room while the medical/dental staff checks their oxygen saturation, administers shots, inserts catheters, starts the anesthesia, or checks their privates.
• In spite of their bravado, teens really need you to come right out and talk about the elephant in the room.
• In our case, the recent elephant was the 3-dimensional foot odor.
• But don't tell him I told you so.
• You will never, ever be ready for them to take their next step towards independence.
• Nevertheless, you will accept and monitor each step towards independence.
• Buy them the best shoes you can afford.
• Eat dinner together. It will force you to talk about the elephant.
• Don't be fooled by years of easy sailing.
• Don't be daunted by committees of "specialists."
• Research all of the "-isms" on your own.
• Doughnuts are currency.
• To grownups, I mean.
• The most crotchety old ladies are the most incisive, insightful and stalwart.
  
• You need them.
  
• You can never have enough help.
• Go ahead and ask for it.
• Because humility is now your middle name.
• Oh, and by all means, OFFER it.
• Because NO ONE can ever have enough help.