Alma Mater

My school did not have:

• football
• baseball
• basketball
• cheerleaders
• homecoming
• band
• pep rallies

My school did have:

• field hockey
• archery
• mime
• yoga
• modern dance
• rock-climbing
• a fountain

My school did not have:

• much to choose from in the way of boys
• a mascot
• a school song
• any success in keeping anybody's secrets
  

My school did have:

• bus trips to dances at the closest boys' schools, 30 and 80 miles away
• a marble terrace
• one staff member who was perilously close to the sex offender line
• several overt affairs among married staff members

But seriously, how many high school populations keep secrets? How many workplaces induce marital temptation? Who needs pep rallies? (Except me personally. As an individual.)