Home today with the little sickie. We got to the doctor ASAP. Doctor barely looked into the ear and said, "Oh, yea," and whipped out her prescription pad. Rose's ear infection, like so much about her, is completely over the top. Turns out that, in addition to the more familiar swelling and fluid of the classic ear infection, she has a BLISTER ON HER EARDRUM. Could that be any more horrifying?
Well, yes. Because, in addition to this skin-crawlingly, disablingly painful condition, they ascertained that a certain pansy-ass mother had neglected to get her daughter vaccinated against influenza this year.
I don't think I need to go on.
Fortunately my teammates at work refused to entertain the idea of me showing up today. They are handling everything. I love them.
Now, at the risk of being practically NORMAL compared to Cally, (scroll down. Jan. 28. I don't know how to link directly to the post.) I offer you this:
1. I have a phobia about collarbones. It's a visceral, shuddering thing like fingernails on a blackboard. I particularly can't stand to have my own touched or referred to, but collarbones in general are just better left unmentioned. (My cruel older sister once winningly made me some salt-clay clavicles for my birthday. Very clever.) In fact, this focus on the topic is making mine hum with that psychic discomfort that you get when someone stands in line behind you a little too closely.
2. I take my astrological characteristics beyond the twosome. I'm more like the sign of... the... CHAMELEON. I just channel other people. Their aesthetic, their gestures, facial expressions. I'm not saying I'm great at impressions or anything. It's more of an absorption. Especially when I was younger, I had to be very careful around anyone with an accent, because I would unconsciously adopt their speech. This, as you can imagine, comes in handy on stage. Otherwise, it just makes me somewhat suspect.
3. I made myself little sanctuaries in dark closets when I was little. I still long and long for sensory deprivation in extreme moments, and have seriously considered dedicating personal, ADULT closet space to a black box. At my daughter's special preschool, they had just such a cave, lined with foam rubber covered with black jersey, with black curtains over the front and pillows on the floor. Get all Freudian if you must. Personally, I prefer my fall back position, which is that all of us are somewhere on the autism spectrum.
4. Case in point: I find it VERY soothing to gently, rhythmically and persistently hit myself in the head. Not with a hammer or anything.
5. I can't stand lotion. Well, actually I discovered just this last year that it's not LOTION that I can't stand. It's COLD lotion. I've taken to filling the basin with hot water and dropping bottles of moisturizer and body lotion into it before I get in the shower.
6. Well, now, I don't know. I think I'm going to have to think about this one. I know! Number Six can be a sort of teaser, like "previews from our next episode" or something. Because I can think of GROSS things about myself, and EMBARRASSING things about myself, and things that are frankly just TOO MUCH INFORMATION. But I'm really trying to reach the level of fitting my whole fist into my mouth. Surely there's something in my past that qualifies.
So tune in next time.
2 comments:
Who knew you felt that way about collarbones? You never cease to amaze me.
Hi Laurie thanks for comming back to let me know who you were, blogger has goneloopy and a lot of people are having trouble leaving comments, but your most recent one made it.
I LOVE your weird things too, they are ace! I really like when people have unusual phobias, I had a friend who was phobic about fluff, in all it's forms, and her sister was terrified of candied peel, like the kind you get in/on cakes!
On No.2 we are similar, people think your making fun when you are doing there accent don't they, but it's unconcious. I love accents, so much richness. And of course in the UK we have some really wild and weird ones that even I can't do or understand.
No.3 sounds peaceful. I used to hide under tables, behind the tablecloth, or make little dens from jackets in other people's houses. Very comporting to have a small dimly lit space, like being back in the womb I always think. Actually, that could have been one of my weird things, I made a giant hanging cocoon at college which was very womb-like. But it was all creamy white shades, not dark, and it had firly lights woven between layers of fabric to make it glow.
Re. No.6, I totally get that, nearly everything I thought up was either gross, embarrassing or, generally, may be seen as socially acceptable by the sweet home made aproned girls that read my blog. People are always horrified that I've never shaved my legs, but for goodness sakes, they are fine blonde hairs, why encourage thick stubble when I can't even see them anyway. Though I conceed that my armpits are not so soft and invisible! But still blonde.
Anyway thanks for your great support of my weirdness, yours is great too. Whoop whoop to us individuals and our strange ways.
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